"sophisticated birthday planning"

recently i discussed upcoming birthdays with jerone: cake, flowers, party, gift altar, and right timing are all tricky questions in my opinion.

not so for him. celebrating before or after doesn't matter from my experience to most u.s. birthday children.

from a german perspective unheard of: no congratulating before the proper birthday. some radicals even go with the concrete birth time, which most of my german friends now up to the minute. not so jerone. if the day would not come with a cake he probably wouldn't even know the date.

once i witnessed one of my u.s. roomies ripping open a letter knowing it would be a birthday card a week before the actual date. this guy also had a party before he turned a year older. everything without qualms.

when i get a birtday letter, package or card, the sender writes -- usually in large font block letters -- NOT TO BE READ/OPENED BEFORE BIRTHDAY. and it's no joke. it's a command, a warning, a precaution. and i comply like every german would. the precious snail mail will be put on what will be the birthday altar to be attacked with joy when time has come.

that's why suprise calls one minute after midnight are expected and turn into a fun game of who is the first caller. congratulants vie for this privilege. that's why celebrating into the birthday with everyone starting singing at 12:00am at the slightly embarrased birthday child who doesn't know where to cast her/his eyes, is a blast. there is a pleasant anticipation, a tension that is half the joy of a this day.

in my opinion this gets lots when every day some congratulations trickle in, gifts appear peu a peu and quickly become part of normal possessions. on the day in germany, a small altar is built for the honored individual with flowers, candies, cards, and gifts. it lives for at least a week to extend the joy and to be a reminder for late congratulaters.

these ritual have been ingrained in me since birth -- socialization. maybe it has something to do with the alleged stereotypical german punctuality? never be too late, but also in reverse never be to early.

jerone calls these fine-tuned german birthday techniques "sophisticated birthday planning". so it may be -- like the fiddler on the roof sings: 'traaaaditioooooooon'. something that doesn't vanish by switching countries.