it's monday, monday before the probably most important thursday of the year in the united states of america.
it feels a little like the days close to christmas. except it's not christmas. it's thanksgiving time. some u.s. americans i've talked to over the years about the meaning of different holidays make it their favorite holiday.
my german friends probably know the text book examples of thanksgiving: the stuffed and baked turkey, pumpkin pie, mashed sweet potatoes with baby marshmallows, corn and cornbread, squash (oh, the varieties!), jell-o in bright colors -- a feast of food.
that's the obvious. but what makes thanksgiving so christmas-like is the intangible atmosphere of anticipation the days before thursday. people make travel plans booking flights with nervousness -- will the plane be delayed because of the collective commuting across the country? will early snow be a threat to timely travel? people are counting down days to see a loved one after a long break. invitations are traded, dinner plans made. college is winding down for a moment with some classes not scheduled for the week or converted into time to work on your own. in some cases colleges take thanksgiving to start winter break altogether.
although thanksgiving in the sense of "Erntedankfest" [giving thanks for the harvest] is celebrated in rural parts of germany, it is not a native holiday to me as a city person nor to most of my friends. it's certainly not a national holiday.
but a few years of life in the united states of america have firmly established thanksgiving in my mental calendar and anticipation captures me, too. i sat down to "gemuetlich" read a thanksgiving short story in the washington post magazine. i contemplated vegetarian entrees [the course of the meal between appetizer and dessert] which seem to abound according to my selective perception. but a dinner invitation came along that i'm looking forward to, and not only because the considerate host assured plenty of vegetables will be on the table. i scheduled my work to be done before thursday to spend all four days with j. coming from the other coast.
while food is a big part of thanksgiving, community of people is more important. with the scarcity of vacation from work in the united states of america, thanksgiving thursday creates a four-day weekend (at least), long enough to escape from fall routine. like christmas it's a special, visiting for the sake of being together, that lightens up the darkening days of the season. and without worrying about gift giving.
that's next, when "black friday" right after thanksgiving thursday unleashes the biggest shopping rush of the year -- say hello to christmas consumption.
11/22/2010
11/17/2010
my first baby shower (just attending)
it has nothing to do with a shower in the sense of water, rather a shower in the sense of gifts, cookies, and games.
such showers mostly come for babies and brides. merriam-webster dictionary defines it as "a party given by friends who bring gifts often of a particular kind".
our particularly blue and green colored gifts today were piled up for a fellow student and his pregnant wife, both from south korea where baby showers don't exist. neither do they in india except for a special ceremony during the 7th month of pregnancy, i just learnt about today but not everyone heeds that one either. and no baby showers in germany where friends might bring gifts after the baby is born rather than before, but then i've gotten used to other pre-mature celebration rituals in the united states. for birthdays, for example, when it doesn't seem to be too uncommon for people to have an approach of saying happy birthday plus/minus a week around day x, scheduling during that range for parties, gift-exchanges, and congratulations.
in germany any time after day x is fine, but not before. bad omen. some germans -- maybe more like a joke -- even point at the time on their actual birth to emphasize that it's not really quite the proper time yet for congratulations on day x.
or graduations, where the famous walk with cap and gown is permitted and executed before people actually finish their thesis or degree and just get an empty piece of paper to hold into the camera along side their smiles. i would be so worried about research that my smile would come out rather skewed or not at all.
at least for high school graduation ceremonies in germany, you don't get to walk up the stage to pick up your "Zeugnis" [a fancy card board folder with grades, signatures, and the state coat of arms embossed on front] unless you have passed. in german universities, except for the american studies department i got to know, i haven't heard of any graduation ceremony. people are so worried about finding a job that nearing the end of your thesis often seems less of a celebratory time than anytime else during your studies. maybe that's why germans find the cap and gown so cool.
back to the baby shower. i learnt a baby shower comes with pita chips and hummus, cookies and jelly belly beans. it also comes with baby bingo, pictionary [draw: security blanket, infant, lullaby], and the "don't say the b-word" game. decorations included a paper chain above the door spelling out baby shower, a bunch of blue-ish balloons floating the message "it's a boy" and a gift altar. the beautiful center piece was a baby cake made of rolled up diapers layered in three levels and wrapped up on the outside of each ring with bibs, undies, and other blue and green baby garments. some of them had cute whales printed on them. the top figure of the cake was a little stuffed animal. what might have been a bow on front of the cake was a "cool and bite me" teething ring. okay, i should have taken a photo instead of delivering a poor description.
one visitor to the shower said these kind of non-edible cakes are showing up in europe, too for all sorts of occasions. maybe germany hasn't caught up yet or i'm lagging behind german party trends (the latter might be more likely).
summa summarum: i lost the "b-word" game and had to give my blue clip as a token to the person who caught me using the forbidden word. it was strategically not wise to sit in front of the jelly belly bean plate and i'm still fascinated by cultural traditions in the us of a which are non-existent in germany.
what makes a culture the way it is? why does it function one way in one place and another way in another place?
does anyone have other shower stories to share?
such showers mostly come for babies and brides. merriam-webster dictionary defines it as "a party given by friends who bring gifts often of a particular kind".
our particularly blue and green colored gifts today were piled up for a fellow student and his pregnant wife, both from south korea where baby showers don't exist. neither do they in india except for a special ceremony during the 7th month of pregnancy, i just learnt about today but not everyone heeds that one either. and no baby showers in germany where friends might bring gifts after the baby is born rather than before, but then i've gotten used to other pre-mature celebration rituals in the united states. for birthdays, for example, when it doesn't seem to be too uncommon for people to have an approach of saying happy birthday plus/minus a week around day x, scheduling during that range for parties, gift-exchanges, and congratulations.
in germany any time after day x is fine, but not before. bad omen. some germans -- maybe more like a joke -- even point at the time on their actual birth to emphasize that it's not really quite the proper time yet for congratulations on day x.
or graduations, where the famous walk with cap and gown is permitted and executed before people actually finish their thesis or degree and just get an empty piece of paper to hold into the camera along side their smiles. i would be so worried about research that my smile would come out rather skewed or not at all.
at least for high school graduation ceremonies in germany, you don't get to walk up the stage to pick up your "Zeugnis" [a fancy card board folder with grades, signatures, and the state coat of arms embossed on front] unless you have passed. in german universities, except for the american studies department i got to know, i haven't heard of any graduation ceremony. people are so worried about finding a job that nearing the end of your thesis often seems less of a celebratory time than anytime else during your studies. maybe that's why germans find the cap and gown so cool.
back to the baby shower. i learnt a baby shower comes with pita chips and hummus, cookies and jelly belly beans. it also comes with baby bingo, pictionary [draw: security blanket, infant, lullaby], and the "don't say the b-word" game. decorations included a paper chain above the door spelling out baby shower, a bunch of blue-ish balloons floating the message "it's a boy" and a gift altar. the beautiful center piece was a baby cake made of rolled up diapers layered in three levels and wrapped up on the outside of each ring with bibs, undies, and other blue and green baby garments. some of them had cute whales printed on them. the top figure of the cake was a little stuffed animal. what might have been a bow on front of the cake was a "cool and bite me" teething ring. okay, i should have taken a photo instead of delivering a poor description.
one visitor to the shower said these kind of non-edible cakes are showing up in europe, too for all sorts of occasions. maybe germany hasn't caught up yet or i'm lagging behind german party trends (the latter might be more likely).
summa summarum: i lost the "b-word" game and had to give my blue clip as a token to the person who caught me using the forbidden word. it was strategically not wise to sit in front of the jelly belly bean plate and i'm still fascinated by cultural traditions in the us of a which are non-existent in germany.
what makes a culture the way it is? why does it function one way in one place and another way in another place?
does anyone have other shower stories to share?
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