maybe it's just me

maybe it's just me but atlanta just feels awkward most of the time. every of the rare steps i walk (walking is uncool), every minute i sit in the bus, every time i wait for the metro there's something that doesn't go away no matter on which square of the "checker board" (quote lonely planet usa) i stand. it's race or ethnicity or whatever the correct term is. or better the separation of it. every day i make the transition from a black square to a white square and back. most of the time i feel like a light bulb in my neighborhood and on the bus and metro. i even have gone so far as to hide my blond hair under my cap (which is increasingly harder to do as temperatures become spring like during the day). except for tourists with big chic suit cases on tiny wheels and business men carrying lap tops and sleek brief cases coming from the airport in the south to ride northwards there are barely any caucasions on the marta (atlanta's public transportation system). and i ask myself all the time why all this is? i just don't get it. of course i can come up with rational explanations but still my feeling just doesn't get it.

i suppose locals are used to this checker board routine (or they avoid the other kind of squares?). but this separated feeling has puzzled me from day one. i tried to ignore it but it's there very obvious but silent. i've just been in atlanta for roughly a month and have not seen all parts, only visited whatever i felt like and this is my personal map (as seen in pretty rough shape above): cnn is a white square on the checker board, so is mostly midtown ("the second hipper downtown" says lonely planet usa) and its arts center, black squares are marta buses and trains, downtown, venetian hills where i live and obviously sweet auburn, the historical district where martin luther king lived and preached.

this is just a mere personal observation from what i see around me when i don't hide behind my book (in bus & metro) or avoid eye contact (on the street). these evasive strategies stem from another atlanta thing that irks me but is normal according to my room mate: people start talking to you. it happens on average three to four times every time i venture out. it feels like you never know what the person behind or next to you is up to. some mumbling is always going on. is the person talking to her cell phone, himself or to you? better don't find out, look away, ignore, stride swiftly. because at some point the mumbling if directed to you ends in something about needing money.

so most of the time i fell uncomfortable going out but do i it anyway to visit places like the high museum of art, the martin luther king site, sweet auburn, the margaret mitchell house, the public library or simply to enjoy the warm atlanta sunshine that feels like spring has already come. but maybe it's just me.